When my first baby, a beautiful little girl we named Audrey, was born, I was convinced that she was the best baby ever. She was absolutely perfect. She was the cutest, smartest, sweetest thing ever, and every move or sound she made was amazing. Sound familiar? I'm pretty sure every first-time mom feels the exact same way about their little bundle of perfect joy (at least, I sure hope so!).
Every developmental milestone my sweet baby reached served as more and more evidence of her absolute perfection. She started walking at 10 months. Amazing. She learned how to drink out of a straw at 10 months also. Incredible, especially considering that my husband apparently didn't master that skill until kindergarten. At her 12-month checkup her pediatrician was blown away by the long list of words she could say, body parts she knew, and how well she followed directions. I'm sure I smiled a bit smugly during the doctor's praise. After all, I already knew I was raising a prodigy!
Just after our little genius turned two, we found out we were expecting another little genius. I have always known that every pregnancy/birth/child is different, but I went into that pregnancy thinking that the differences between Genius Child 1 and Genius Child 2 would be minimal.
That's where I was wrong.
From the very beginning, this second child was not only different, but completely different. With Audrey, I worked full time all through my pregnancy and never missed a day of work for anything. Sure I felt pretty crummy the first few months and even lost 10 pounds that first trimester, but it really wasn't that bad. With Paige, it was a very good thing that I was a stay-at-home mom because there were days during the first trimester that I literally could not get out of bed because I was so sick. I lost closer to 15 pounds during the first trimester with her. That's when I started comparing. I was absolutely sure that I would be having a boy, because I'd already had a girl and that girl hadn't made me nearly this sick. So I must be having a boy this time, right? Wrong.
Then came fetal movements. Audrey was always super active in utero, kicking and rolling and hooking her feet underneath my ribs and flipping them (OWWW). Since she was born, though, she's been active but also tends to be very calm, cuddly, and able to sit still. Paige, on the other had, was noticeably less active in utero, to the point where from time to time I would panic, guzzle some juice, and poke and prod my belly until she gave a half-hearted kick as if to say, "Yeah, Mom, I'm still here. Quit bugging me so I can go back to sleep." Since she was born, though, the girl is like a shark: she has to keep moving or else she'll drown.
The list of differences between the girls is seemingly endless: Audrey was always a superstar eater, tasting and eating anything placed in front of her. Paige is the world's pickiest eater, and we have only recently coaxed her out of the cheese-and-bread-only phase that has encompassed the vast majority of her second year of life. Audrey is blonde with her dad's green eyes, Paige is a brown-eyed brunette like me. Audrey has (sadly!) outgrown her baby curls and is now stick-straight, Paige has tighter ringlets than Audrey ever had.
And then there's the talking.
Audrey started talking early and has always spoken very well and very clearly, so I just figured that Paige's speech would be similar. Not so. Miss Paige just turned two and her list of words is still not very long at all. I can tell that she is every bit as intelligent as Audrey, she has amazing receptive language and can understand everything we say, she can imitate almost anything we do, but for whatever reason, she just hasn't developed her expressive language yet.
I think the hardest part of Paige not talking is all of the frustration. I get frustrated that she isn't using real words when I think she should be able to, and she gets extremely frustrated that I don't always (or usually) understand her grunts, gestures, and Paige-ese.
She is making huge progress, though. Just in the past couple of weeks we can tell that she is trying so hard to talk, and she has gained several new words. For that I have been so grateful. I know it isn't easy on her to not be able to express her little wants and ideas, and it's been extremely humbling for me as a mom. It's one thing to say (and think you know!) that every child is different, it's a completely different thing to realize every single day exactly how true that statement is. I have to remind myself almost daily not to compare her to Audrey, or to any other child, for that matter. She's just Paige. And she's just perfect.
Someday soon this stage will be over and hopefully we'll be able to look back and remember all of her cute little made-up word approximations rather than all of the frustration. In the meantime, we will keep talking to her about everything that's happening, keep encouraging her to use the signs and words she does know, keep treasuring the time we get to spend reading books to her, keep asking millions of "yesh/uh-uh" questions throughout the day to find out what she's thinking, keep NOT comparing her to other kids, and more than anything, just keep loving her.
But, I mean, the girl can say "yesh, Mama" already so that's all she really needs to know, right?
